Monday, February 9, 2015

NO MOM IS AN ISLAND

Looking At the Vaccine Debate From a Different Angle

On February 12, 2015, my little Mini turns one.  I think most parents can agree that the first year of their child’s life is the fastest year of their lives.  It seems like only minutes ago that we were watching The Bachelor and I was pacing uncomfortably around my living room, Husband convinced this thing was about to happen and me convinced that I had just eaten too many Oreos.  I had gone back and forth over whether or not I wanted my mom in the delivery room with us, but at 4 AM I was on the phone begging her to get in her car and drive up from Virginia just as fast as those four wheels could get her to New York City.  Someday I may write in more detail about my labor – the overcrowded hospital, the sudden onset preeclampsia, the Olympic pairs figure skating on the TV in the background, the med student witnessing his first delivery – but as I reflect on this past year, no moment is more important than the moment they plopped that wriggly little six pounder in my arms and told me I was a mom.

Please excuse the tragic hospital hair.
In the last twelve months, I’ve done things I never said I would, or not done all the things I was sure I would.  I swore up and down I would never breastfeed on the subway.  That lasted about two months (thanks Hooter Hider!).   I swore I would never put the baby in the bed with us.  Luckily she sleeps great in her crib, but sometimes there are late nights (and early mornings) where Mini just needs Mama and Dada on either side of her.  Who knows what I will or won’t do in the future as we move forward, but here again my mantra rings true – all we can do is the best we can do.

I was hesitant to wander into the vaccine debate raging around the country right now, but as we get ready to take Mini for her MMR vaccine, I thought about whether or not this was something I’d be willing to waver on.  Personally, I am 100% comfortable with our decision to vaccinate, just as I’m sure those families who have decided against it are with their choice not to.  I recently saw an interview with an Arizona doctor, who chooses not to vaccinate his children and keep them “pure” (that’s an interesting reference, but I digress), and also spoke quite plainly about not caring whether or not his children made other children ill.  Is that really the kind of attitude we want to teach children in our society, that it doesn’t matter what you do to someone else? Take away the vaccine issue and insert another topic.  If you have more than enough food for your child, do you not care if another child goes hungry? If your child is getting a quality education, do you not care if another child gets no education? Whatever happened to “it takes a village to raise a child?” Must I accept a society wherein it’s okay for someone to say we shouldn’t care about one another?

I’m never going to be a perfect mother or make all the perfect choices, but I’m trying my hardest to put something good into the world.  I want to contribute to the village, and let the village shape who we are as a family and who Mini will grow to be as an individual.  I want to raise her to share her toys, play with the other kids on the playground, and stand up to bullies.  I want her to volunteer with those who are less fortunate and be reminded that just because she “has,” not only is she no better than the “have-nots,” but there is reward in doing good for others. I want her to see the value in young women who spread joy, love, and positivity. 

My understanding and interpretation of this poem by John Donne, which I first read in high school, has changed and evolved over the years, but it’s always something I think back to when I find myself losing sight of the bigger picture.  I’m not here to tell anyone what to do or not do.  I’m only here to say I want to be in this village with you because I care about you and your family, and I hope the feeling is mutual.

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.                   
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:

Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind;
And therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

No comments:

Post a Comment